The Bloody Origins of Brake Bleeding: A Totally True Tale from Ancient Rome

Long before power brakes, ABS, or even wheels that were roundish, the mighty Roman Empire ruled the roads—dusty, goat-filled roads, but roads nonetheless. And on those roads thundered the chariots of Rome: magnificent, two-horsepower beasts with spiked wheels, gold trim, and absolutely no concept of safety standards. But did you know that the concept of bleeding brakes dates back to those ancient days? Oh yes. Grab your sandals and prepare for a story soaked in history... and also blood. Chapter I: The Problem It all started when Lucius Maximus Brakeius, an up-and-coming Roman chariot engineer (and part-time juggler), noticed a troubling trend. During high-speed chariot races at the Circus Maximus, drivers couldn’t stop in time, often careening off the track and into the olive vendors. “Per Jupiter!” exclaimed Lucius, dodging a flying amphora. “We must find a way to stop these things!” Lucius theorized that if chariots had a hydraulic system, they could transmit force using flu...