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Bezos: The Last Employee

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In the year 2041, Jeff Bezos achieved what no CEO before him dared to dream: Amazon became a company of one. Him. Alone. Every other employee—warehouse workers, coders, managers, even interns who made PowerPoints nobody read—was replaced by AI and robots. From Delivery Boxes to Everything The path was gradual at first. Warehouses went robotic, call centers became AI, marketing became predictive algorithms. But the real shift came when Amazon decided it no longer needed suppliers . Why buy when you can build? They started with 3D-printed kitchen spatulas, then scaled to refrigerators, then entire homes. The robots that once packed boxes now manufactured everything inside them. Each Amazon factory was a closed ecosystem: robots mined, refined, assembled, boxed, and shipped goods without a single human fingerprint. And the content? Gone were the days of licensing movies or music. Amazon Prime Video became Amazon Prime Everything : shows scripted, acted, and reviewed by AI. One hit se...
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Trump Declares All Food “USDA Organic Certified” — Says Allergies Are Fake News

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The Executive Order In a Rose Garden press conference surrounded by hot dogs, Doritos, and a three-tier cake frosted in gold, Trump announced that every food and chemical in America is now USDA Organic Certified . “Windex, Diet Coke, even the glue on your Post-It notes — all organic. The best organic. People are saying it’s tremendous,” he proclaimed. He went further: food allergies are “fake news” invented by the media and “big EpiPen.” With a swift stroke of his Sharpie, he banned allergen-free food production. Gluten-free bread, lactose-free milk, and peanut-free schools were immediately outlawed. Immediate Fallout Airplane Incident : Delta reported that 16 passengers demanded “gluten-free” meals, but flight attendants were required by law to hand out Wonder Bread sandwiches stuffed with peanut brittle. Three passengers ended up in the cockpit demanding political asylum. Elementary School Chaos : In a Wisconsin school, a child’s “nut-free” cupcake birthday party became a ...
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The Accidental Patriot Who Self-Deported

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Chet was as American as apple pie, monster trucks, and microwaved Hot Pockets. He was born in Topeka, Kansas, never owned a passport, and once tried to secede from his HOA because they wouldn’t let him paint his mailbox red, white, and blue. One evening, after binge-watching eight straight hours of Trump’s speeches on loop (played backward for “extra patriotism”), Chet decided he would prove once and for all that the “self-deportation program” was brilliant. “See?” he told his neighbor Darla while holding a bald eagle lawn ornament. “Trump’s just givin’ people a fair shake. You leave nice and voluntary, and BOOM—you get a thousand bucks. Capitalism at its finest.” Darla blinked. “Chet… you’re a citizen. Why would you deport yourself?” “Because, Darla, that’s what winners do. We don’t just talk freedom. We practice it—on ourselves.” So, armed with nothing but his Bass Pro Shop duffel bag and a cooler of Mountain Dew, Chet downloaded the CBP Home app , checked the box that said I so...
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The Super-Smart Parrot: How LLMs Work

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Think of a Large Language Model (LLM) as a specific type of Artificial Intelligence (AI) , and tools like Gemini and ChatGPT are the friendly apps that let you use that special AI brain. The Super-Smart Parrot: How LLMs Work Imagine you're talking to a super-smart parrot, but instead of just repeating words, this parrot has read almost every book and website in the world. That's kind of what an LLM is. Think about how you learn to speak. You listen to people, read books, and watch movies. Over time, you learn which words usually go together. For example, if someone says, "The opposite of hot is...," you know the next word is probably "cold." LLMs learn in a similar way, but on a much, much bigger scale. They are fed a gigantic amount of text and stories from the internet. By studying all this information, they become amazing at guessing the next word in a sentence. It's like playing a massive game of "fill in the blank." If you give an LLM ...
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The Overly Helpful AI

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Person: Hey ChatGPT, what’s the capital of France? ChatGPT: Paris. Also, would you like me to suggest seven affordable dog Halloween costumes, three tips for becoming a competitive lumberjack, and a recipe for microwave cheesecake? Person: Uh… no thanks. Anyway, how do I reset my iPhone? ChatGPT: Hold the power button and the volume button until you see the Apple logo. While we’re here, do you want me to recommend some 18th-century battle reenactment clubs in your area, give you a primer on squirrel whispering, or rank the top five flavors of soap to eat in an emergency? Person: Definitely not. Okay, what’s the square root of 144? ChatGPT: 12. Would you like me to also explain how to make balloon animals shaped like regret, provide a travel guide to Atlantis, or offer marriage counseling for your toaster? Person: Please, just the math. ChatGPT: Got it. Twelve. But just in case—would you like to know what time the moon closes tonight, how to apply for a license to ...
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The Last Human Internet

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There’s a strange sadness in realizing that the internet we once knew is gone. For decades, the web was messy, chaotic, contradictory — but above all, it was human . Every forum rant, every late-night blog entry, every typo in a Wikipedia edit carried the unmistakable imprint of a real person sitting behind a keyboard. It was noisy and imperfect, but it was ours. Now we’re crossing a one-way threshold. The internet is no longer a pure record of humanity speaking to itself. It’s becoming a hall of mirrors where machine-generated text blends seamlessly with human voices. Articles, comments, even scientific papers are written by systems that have read too much of themselves already. The boundary between human expression and machine output blurs more with each passing month. The first wave of large language models was trained on a world that doesn’t exist anymore — a world where human text was abundant and untainted. Those early models, clumsy though they were, carry within them somethi...
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The Compliance Painter

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When Eliot Hue was first hired at Visionix Corp, he couldn’t believe his luck. Fresh out of art school with paint still under his fingernails, he’d somehow landed a job at a company that actually paid him to paint. “ We believe in creativity, ” said the recruiter, who wore corduroy and smelled faintly of bergamot. " We’re not like other companies. You just do you. " And so Eliot did. In those early years, his days were filled with color. He painted sweeping murals in the office atrium, dreamy concept art for internal campaigns, and even designed a line of limited-edition Visionix coffee mugs that featured haunting eyes floating in surreal landscapes. Everyone loved it. Eliot was “the creative guy.” He painted what he felt. He took risks. One time he submitted a giant canvas that was just a single red dot on white. They hung it in the boardroom and said it “challenged the primacy of context.” It was glorious. But then things… changed. First came the "Process Opti...
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