The Gospel According to McRib

In a bold and misguided attempt to launch their annual McRib campaign, McDonald’s marketing team came up with what they thought was an inspired, faith-based commercial. The tagline? “From the beginning, God gave us the ribs.” It sounded catchy at the brainstorming session, where nobody had dared to ask whether blending theology and fast food was a good idea.

The Commercial

The ad opened in the Garden of Eden. Adam lounged on a rock, abs flexing under soft heavenly light, while animals frolicked in the background. A voiceover boomed, unmistakably mimicking Morgan Freeman but definitely not Morgan Freeman (budget constraints):

“In the beginning, God saw that Adam was lonely and hungry…”

Then, an ethereal golden glow enveloped the scene. A celestial hand (wearing the iconic McDonald’s glove) reached down. As Adam napped, the hand plucked a rib from his side and—poof!—transformed it into a perfectly sauced McRib sandwich.

The camera panned to Eve, who appeared with a side of fries, holding the McRib in one hand and a Coke in the other. She took a heavenly bite and whispered, “This is why I was created.”

The scene cut to the classic golden arches and the tagline: “McRib is back, and it’s biblical.”

The Backlash

The ad aired on a Sunday morning during a highly watched church livestream, a demographic the company hoped would embrace the “divine” campaign. Instead, it sparked outrage.

Social media erupted almost immediately. The hashtag #RibGate trended within hours. Pastors denounced the ad from the pulpit, calling it “blasphemy with a side of barbecue sauce.” Theologians published scathing op-eds titled “Why McRib Theology is Heretical,” pointing out that the Bible never mentioned Adam craving fast food.

PETA, not wanting to miss the uproar, chimed in with their own campaign: “Adam’s rib was vegan—yours can be too.”

McDonald’s Damage Control

Faced with the backlash, McDonald’s issued a half-hearted apology:

“We regret any misunderstanding caused by our recent McRib commercial. Our intention was to honor the role of ribs in biblical history while celebrating the McRib’s limited-time return. We recognize this might not have landed as intended.”

But the apology only fanned the flames. Satirical memes flooded the internet, including one of a cheeseburger replacing the forbidden fruit in Eve’s hand. Someone even Photoshopped Jesus at the Last Supper eating a McRib, which became a viral sensation.

The Fallout

Sales of the McRib surprisingly soared—though not for the reasons McDonald’s hoped. People bought the sandwich just to mock the ad. Churches organized “McRib Exorcisms,” where congregants threw the sandwiches into fiery pits, ironically creating the same smoky aroma that made people crave them.

Meanwhile, McDonald’s launched a second, even worse commercial featuring Noah’s Ark filled with McRib sandwiches instead of animals. This time, even atheists were offended, arguing that McDonald’s was desecrating good satire with bad marketing.

By the end of the debacle, McDonald’s quietly pulled the campaign and promised to stick to simpler slogans, like “I’m Lovin’ It.” But the damage had been done. The McRib had ascended to meme immortality, forever linked to a strange chapter in advertising history when a marketing team dared to ask, “What would Jesus eat?” and got it hilariously, tragically wrong.